I've sacked the gardener.
As the other half pointed out the other week...the garden has never looked as bad as it does now. She's really lovely but she appears to have come from the PotterAndPrune school of gardening and we need someone who's more of a ChopItDownAndClearOutTheShit sort of gardener. The tree outside my office window has become so overgrown that I can't actually see out of one window anymore. And some other trees have formed a massive canopy over the decking so that even if the sun was shining we wouldn't be able to tell. She said she'd do it when it wasn't winter/wet/slippy any more. But then ditched the idea in favour of titivating the new bushes she planted. The front garden looks like no-one has lived here for 6 years. The grass was permanently in need of mowing. And it cost me £130 to hire a skip to put all the crap in that she'd cleared out of the other half's "wild area". Plus she was a bit random in the timing of her visits.
So I told her we don't need her any more. And I bought us a shiny new state-of-the-art Gtech cordless mower. It's awesome. The youngest had it out of the box and whizzed round the garden in the time it would have taken her to have a coffee and a chat.