Thursday, 31 August 2017

hello lunch

I was taken out for lunch at my fave place, Salts Mill, today. By two lovely FancyLondonTypes. Awesome way to spend a Thursday 🤗

Wednesday, 30 August 2017


How to get out of ferrying everyone around and general crap errands: book your car in at a garage far away for a full day service. I did this yesterday. Worked a treat. The eldest had to catch an actual bus and everything!
I'm planning on having it "serviced" regularly now. I reckon if I park it round the corner and lie it'll save me from loads of unwanted jobs. 
Of course I had to call in the services of my Dad to actually drop me off and pick me up from the garage.
Luckily he doesn't moan like I do. 
You're never too old to use Dad's Taxi Services 😊

Saturday, 26 August 2017


It's international dog day.
I've got a dog.
I've been to the pub.
Am I too late to say I love my dog?

Thursday, 24 August 2017

exam results

Well done to my little princess for fabulous GCSE results today. She rocked it with an A*, 7 A's, 3 B's and a C in further maths (which she didn't even want to take.)
And I got an A* in Nagging, an A* in moaning and an A* in drinking Pimms whilst revising.
Awesome day for us both.

Tuesday, 22 August 2017

leave. me. alone

Trying to work in school holidays.
Bloody impossible.
Today went like this:
Did 30 minutes work.
Broke off to take the eldest to my sister's warehouse where she was helping out for the day.
Arrived back and was cornered by AlbertFromNextDoor for a chat. 
Was trying to escape when AlbertFromNextDoor's wife, Joyce, came out to extend the chat.
Finally escaped and did a bit more work before the mother-in-law phoned to say she'd made us an apple pie and had it with her at her friend's house down the road and could I please drive down and collect it straight away.
Got outside to find a massive van, belonging to a bloke with no teeth who was fixing JimFromNextDoorTheOtherWay's garage, blocking the drive. 
Reversed dangerously around him to be met by DavidFromAcrossTheRoad who stopped me for a chat and discussion about how they probably won't be getting a holiday this year. 
Collected the pie and arrived back, unseen by any further chatty neighbours, to carry on working.
Broke off to feed the youngest who had finally dragged his arse out of bed.
A bit more work before the youngest's mate, Peter, turned up to see if he wanted to go somewhere on his bike.
Broke off to sort the bike shizz out.
Just getting back into my work when the eldest texted to say she was ready to be collected and could I bring the following list of items (insert long list of items including jeans, shoes, multiple makeup items, GHD's and 75 quid to give to her friend for her ticket to Leeds Fest this weekend)
Spent about 200 hours trying to find all the crap on her list. Left the house. Reversed dangerously around the toothless bloke's massive van. Called at the bank to get the 75 quid and went to collect the eldest.
Arrived at the same time as UK Mail and helped load all the customer orders they'd been packing onto the van.
Went to pick up the eldest's friend, Fiona, and delivered them both to another friend's house.
Did some more work. 
The eldest texted to say she was ready to be collected.
By this time the toothless garage man had buggered off so this saved time with my reversing and I collected number one daughter in record time.
Made food for both starving kids.
Made food for the other half and myself.
Ate the food.

Then I started work.

I'm seriously thinking of going to sit in my car somewhere in the middle of a field tomorrow just so that I can work without any sodding interruptions.

a little bit very bloody knackered

We slept for hours on holiday. The shutters on the windows made it so dark that we didn't wake up. We just stayed asleep. We had like ten or eleven hours a night. The other half also managed to fit in a siesta every day. It was awesome.
The seven hours I'm getting now is simply not sufficient.
I need a nana nap already. And it's only 9.30am.

Monday, 21 August 2017

holiday blues

Aw we had a fab holiday. It was HOT and we chilled and ate nice food and swam every day and drank cocktails. We visited some beautiful places and played cards and dominoes till after midnight on the patio. 
We also argued a fair bit and the eldest was bored and moody a large proportion of the time....but we'll just gloss over those bits I think.
Then we got home and went to the races for the weekend with friends and family and had a brill time.
And now we're back. And it's cold. And it's work. And it's rushing about. 
And I just want to go back and sit under my palm tree please.