Tuesday, 31 March 2020

soup and sardines

Lockdown Day 8

The OtherHalf brought the sodding bike inside the house to fix. Both garden and garage were deemed "too cold" for him to function properly. 😡
He made the Youngest jetwash the decking.
The Eldest listened to an audio book of Plato.
I escaped to Tesco after realising all the decent food has been consumed and nobody is interested in soup or sardines. It felt like a mini break and was lovely to be able to do something "normal".
Then I cut the Eldest's hair.
I'm Nikki Clarke now.

Monday, 30 March 2020

happy days

Lockdown Day 7

There's nothing quite so fabulous as staying up till 1am on a Sunday to watch Rain Man, knowing that you don't have to set the alarm for stupid o'clock and stick to a rigid Monday timetable.

Also thanking my lucky stars that all this has occurred at a time when I don't have small people to entertain. God knows I've done my fair share of trying to work with kids running wild over the years. Bloody glad we didn't put child creation off a few more years.

Anyway... Today...

  • The OtherHalf has made the Youngest cut the grass. Again. Cos it hasn't been cut since like Wednesday. Meanwhile he's been putting a new dropper post on his sodding bike.
  • The Eldest is still writing WarAndBloodyPeace. But she actually got out of bed before midday today!!!
  • And I have been locked in my studio doing VeryImportantWork. As usual.

Sunday, 29 March 2020

fashion in isolation

Lockdown Day 6

Today marks seven whole days since the Eldest last stepped foot out of the house. Not because she's a model citizen taking the whole thing incredibly seriously. But mostly because it's actually getting dark by the time she gets out of bed now. She was "fuming" last night because she'd planned to go to bed at 1.30am but then the clocks suddenly went forward an hour and it was already 2am.

In other news I tackled the ironing pile. Approximately 5 weeks worth. So now we have all these 'new' clothes to wear.
Pointless as it turns out cos I'm just wearing the same hoodie every day with my yoga pants. That way I'm ready for my afternoon online yoga sesh. If I decide to do one. Which hasn't happened yet. But it's early days...

Saturday, 28 March 2020

weekend vibes

Lockdown Day 4 

  • I locked myself in my office most of the day. I was actually working. Honestly. Apart from the addition of 3 extra bodies in the house my day to day life is pretty much the same as before so far.
  • The OtherHalf trimmed a bush then took the piss out of Boris by going on a 3 hour bike ride. Insisted that it was essential exercise.
  • The Eldest stayed in bed most of the day due to the late night she had, stringing out the assignment. She's now on the same time zone as New Zealand so we don't see her much.
  • The Youngest was doing something with a table knife in the front garden. He reckoned he was "gardening". I didn't question him further. I couldn't be arsed.
  • I went up to M&S to stock up on essential fresh food. Four people eat a lot when they're at home all day. I waited till 6pm because my sister attempted it in the morning and the queue went out of the car park, across the road and all the way to DFS. This is far. Spent 75 quid on a bit of fruit and veg and enough snacks to last half an hour.
  • The OtherHalf usually goes to the pub on a Friday night. I suggested that we should get dressed up, turn the telly off and drink, standing up, out of pint glasses. To recreate the pub atmosphere. He ignored me.

Lockdown Day 5

It's the weekend.
The OtherHalf continued to flaunt the rules and went on another 3 hour bike ride. Then he went back to bed. This is what he does every Saturday.

I cleaned the whole of downstairs then packed in cos I'm feeling most resentful about my domestic servant status.

The Youngest has only just surfaced. He said, "What is there to eat?"

The Eldest is still in bed. It's the middle of the night in New Zealand.

Thursday, 26 March 2020

chasing rainbows

Lockdown Day 3

The dog has never had it so good. We're all fighting to take her for a walk.
On my walk today I saw lots of rainbows in windows and a bloke sat on his doorstep, wearing only a pair of shorts, sunbathing with a can of Fosters. Like he was in Lanzarote.
So that was nice.

Wednesday, 25 March 2020


Lockdown Day 2

The OtherHalf's gardening activities have continued.
By this I mean that he has spent most of the day in the garden pissing about with his bike whilst making the youngest cut the grass.

The Eldest stayed in bed literally all day and only surfaced at 4pm.

Meanwhile my neighbour texted to see if we have an electric pump she could borrow. I dragged myself out of the studio and into the garden to ask. 
This was the conversation:
Me: Neil, do we have an electric pump?
Neil: An electric pump?
Me: Yes, Cassie needs one. Have we got one?
Neil: [Looking confused] An electric pump??
Me: Yes. An electric pump.
Neil: [Still looking confused] An electric pump???
Me: [Getting intensely irritated] YES!!!
Neil: [Still confused and acting like I am speaking Spanish] An e-l-e-c-t-r-i-c-p-u-m-p? What's it for?
Me: [Ready to punch him] I have no idea! Whatever it's for, do we have a pump that is electric??????
Neil: No.

I'm not sure how we will survive this pandemic.

Tuesday, 24 March 2020


Lockdown Day 1

How long is appropriate for a solo walk?
Asking for a friend....

Jokes...it's actually all ok so far! The Eldest has a uni assignment deadline, the Youngest never leaves his room and the OtherHalf is getting our shit tip of a garden ready for the Chelsea Flower Show. 

And I'm beavering away to get a big project finished...although I'm not actually sure there'll be anyone there to receive it 😬

Monday, 23 March 2020


Today I will be following government advice and working from home.
As usual.
But with the addition of two teenagers. Who are still in bed. And no doubt will be for several more hours. I just don't really have the energy to get them up. I can't face the prospect of nagging them for the next 6 months 😩
I suppose it's easier than having two 5 year olds at home though.
Stay strong people!

Sunday, 22 March 2020

mother's day

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mums. Especially mine. Cos she's the best. 
Also I've done that thing again where I post on Insta but forget to post on here... if anyone even reads this and is interested in CoronaTalk you know where to find it...

Thursday, 19 March 2020

shell shocked

The youngest leaves school tomorrow. Like Forever. 
It's his last day ever!
He's a bit shell shocked.
Last week at this time he had a full on revision timetable. And loads of homework. And a stressy exam countdown. And 3 months left of school.
It all went tits up last night when Boris announced that schools would be closing and exams were scrapped. 
I mean he's over the moon about the exam thing. The rest of it - not so much.
I think there will be many tears tomorrow!
In other news, with my usual taxi service time freed up, this week I cleared out a cupboard in the kitchen. I found loads of tinned food we can now use for extreme survival and chucked out loads of herbs and spices...all "best before 2008"

Monday, 16 March 2020

Saturday, 14 March 2020


When you read the papers the whole world is in lockdown. Watch the news and the streets are deserted.Look on social media and the supermarket shelves are empty.
So I've been out a couple of time to panic-buy pasta and stockpile some tinned food and toilet paper. Because armageddon!
But it seems like it's just normal life out there to me. Loads of people. No empty shelves. Not a face mask in sight.
So I just bought a load of fruit and veg. And wine. And beer. Also chocolate. Cos I don't like tinned food.
I'll panic buy another day...

Friday, 13 March 2020

the week the world went mad

Can things get any crazier?

I'm guessing yes.

Tuesday, 10 March 2020

driving me round the bend

Even with one kid down the Mum's Taxi service is on overdrive this week.

Sunday, 8 March 2020

international women's day

Are you even classed as an illustrator if you don't jump on the bandwagon of every popular hashtag?

Saturday, 7 March 2020


Some days it's Spring. Some days it goes back to winter. Today feels like Spring. Woohoo.

Thursday, 5 March 2020

world book day

I'm celebrating World Book Day. 
Celebrating that my kids are 19 and 15 so I didn't have to stay up half the night to bodge together an outfit that vaguely resembles a book we own. There are only so many times you can send them as Where's Wally 'cos you own a stripey t/shirt and round glasses and once made a red and white hat...

Wednesday, 4 March 2020

up to date

I'm up to date! I'm actually up to bloody date with my work!
I'm waiting for people to get back to me on a couple of jobs but as of this afternoon I'm actually UP. TO. DATE.
Brian Lion doesn't quite know what to make of the situ....

Tuesday, 3 March 2020

ten years of moaning

This elephant is to celebrate my blog's birthday. Ten years old today!
Ten years of me moaning. Mostly about the weather.

It's an elephant cos the first picture I put on here was an elephant.
It was a pretty shit elephant to be honest. But I'll probably think this one is pretty shit in another ten years. (Or by tomorrow actually)

Happy blogiversary to me!
I mostly use instagram these days. Then I plonk the same pic on here. Unless I forget. Which I did with this one...⤵️
But I'll keep posting on here for now. For old time's sake if nothing else.

Monday, 2 March 2020


Woohoo...it's March....and it was actually light this am when I got up. Happy days!
This was February....