Tuesday, 29 December 2020


It snowed. The neighbours all came out with their shovels and moved the snow from the road into massive piles on the pavement. The snow melted. Apart from the massive piles, which will still be there in June.

Proving yet again that 95% of the time shovelling snow is a completely pointless activity.

Monday, 28 December 2020

chrimbo limbo

Yesterday I met my friends for a bacon sarnie and a walk. Got surprised by a pig. It was hiding behind a wall. Not up a tree as my picture would suggest. Pigs don't climb trees much.

Today I went to my fave Salts Mill with the OtherHalf and the kids. We had to eat our takeout in the car. We're still tier 3 so no eating in. Then I spent the rest of the day thinking it was Sunday. It's not. It's Monday. The ChrimboLimbo can be quite exhausting.

Saturday, 26 December 2020

merry christmas

I know it's not meant to be the same as normal this Christmas and there's a lot of doom and gloomers moaning about it. But actually I saw all the people I wanted to see and we had a fabulous Christmas. 

I'm too full to stand up now though.

Thursday, 24 December 2020

christmas eve

Christmas Eve is quite different now the kids are older. I used to be up till midnight, wrapping and creeping about with mince pies/carrots and sneaking pressies out. Tonight I've cracked open the chocolate Baileys and I've just given the kids the 10 minute warning that Santa is about to arrive and they won't be allowed back downstairs after that.

They'll be awake long after us though so who knows if they'll obey orders 🤷🏼‍♀️

Tuesday, 22 December 2020

dark all day

Yesterday was the shortest day.

It was so short I didn't get chance to post this pic I did.

Sunday, 20 December 2020

superstar shopper

received an unexpected accolade this week. M&S emailed me to tell me I’m a superstar shopper ⭐️  

Apparently I was #14 shopper of microwave rice at Leeds Birstall Simply Food in 2020! 

They mustn’t buy much rice in Birstall cos I haven’t actually bought that much. I’ve bought a shit load of French cheese though and didn’t even make the running on that one 🙄

Saturday, 19 December 2020

christmas starts now

Ok, it's Christmas. We've opened the Quality Street.

It had to be done. It's only a matter of time before such things are banned.

Friday, 18 December 2020

pile of boxes

Does anyone else feel unable to throw away Apple boxes?

I cleared my wardrobes out recently and found all these. I couldn’t bring myself to actually chuck them. So I moved them into the Eldest's room. 

But she's coming home from uni today. And I'm wondering if I can get away with putting them in the loft?

What I really need is someone to tell me to just bin the bloody things. I've absolutely no idea why I have kept them all these years 🤷🏼‍♀️

Wednesday, 16 December 2020

office party

 My friend brought M&S lunch for us today at our fancy co-working lounge. It felt a bit like a work's Christmas do.

But then we decided that we'll do it again next week. Properly. Like our real office party. Sammy's gonna bring party hats. I might photocopy my buttocks. And she's most  definitely gonna end up snogging BarryBigBollocksBullshitter.

Can't wait.

Tuesday, 15 December 2020

co-working space

This is BarryBigBollocksBullshitter.

He works from the fancy co-working lounge at my new gym. 

My friend and I meet up and work from there one day a week. He's been there every time, whatever day we go ...so I suspect it's actually his office.

He talks so loudly we find it hard to concentrate. He only talks about how fabulous he is. And his amazing achievements. Whoever he's talking to doesn't get chance to speak.

He wasn't so fabulous last week though. Someone phoned him to see where he was. He'd clearly had a diary malfunction and was meant to be in a different meeting 45 minutes drive away. Oh how we laughed as he made his excuses and sprinted off.

Hopefully it'll be his day off tomorrow when we go.

But I suspect he doesn't have a day off.

Sunday, 13 December 2020



Had a get together with my friends for the first time since Portugal. We met in a pub carpark, ordered *takeaway service only* bacon sarnies via phone, had them delivered to our cars... then went on the muddiest walk ever. You're allowed to do that in Tier 3.


It chucked it down. All. Bloody. Day. Took the dog for a short walk and got piss wet through. Made Sunday Dinner.

We were really meant to see Doves  at Hebden Bridge Trades Club. But it was cancelled. Obvs. Everything is cancelled. Apart from walks in the mud and rain.

Thursday, 10 December 2020

run away

Thought about running away from Tier 3 misery on New year's Eve. You can get a 4 bedroom treehouse at Centerparcs for 3 nights. Only £6999. Anyone want to chip in?

Tuesday, 8 December 2020

post problems

What's going on with the post and parcel delivery situ at the mo?

I currently have one parcel missing with Hermes, one delivered 70 miles away by Yodel...and Royal Mail's first class post is taking about 2 bloody weeks! 

We need some of Santa's elves to be redeployed immediately to help out.

Sunday, 6 December 2020

december so far...

My computer died.

I had a meltdown.

I bought a new one.

The old one came back to life.

Bloody love the new one though...space grey with a fancy touchbar. And touch ID. And an extra inch of screen. So it's not going back...

Here's what you missed...created on the old macbook and new...

Tuesday, 1 December 2020

november 2020

Spent the whole month in lockdown. It was fine. I actually don't mind a bit of lockdown. Gave me a break from all the shit I usually over commit to.

Here's the mash up pattern.

Monday, 30 November 2020

instagram catchup

Today I'm moaning about coming out of lockdown and straight into Tier 3.

On Saturday I was moaning about everyone putting their Christmas decs up in November.

I'm sure I'll find something else to moan about tomorrow.

Friday, 27 November 2020

in tiers

Yesterday the government had us all in tiers.

And we are in the worst one.

So next week the shops can reopen. And I can go for my hair cutting. But everything else stays as it is now. Shut. And shit.

The OtherHalf can go back to work on Wednesday though. So every cloud...

Sunday, 22 November 2020

quiet walk

Since when did walking in the woods on a Sunday get so chuffing popular? Since bloody Corona, that's when! There are loads of woodland walks round here. We used to be the only ones on them wherever we went. Nowadays everyone and their dog is there. Literally. It's like Oxford Street the Saturday before Christmas. I suppose there's nothing else to do these days. Think we'll wander round the Trafford Centre next week. For some peace and quiet.

Saturday, 21 November 2020

not bloody christmas

What is wrong with people. Putting their bloody Christmas trees up already. 

In November!!!


Friday, 20 November 2020

This is 2020Jane. 

2019Jane used to go to meetings in London kitted out in All Saints. 
2020Jane does meetings on Zoom. In joggers. 

2019Jane used to have a latte in nice little coffee shops. And glasses of fizz in cool bars. 
2020Jane stays at home and drinks red wine. Sometimes straight from the bottle. Nobody sees her. 

2019Jane used to go on shopping trips with her good friend Dawn.
2020Jane goes to the local shops and buys more wine. And biscuits. And chicken. The type you get in a bucket. 

2020Jane can no longer fit in any of her clothes. She has ordered trousers with elasticated waists online. 
2020Jane is hoping for better things in 2021. 

Aren’t we all. 

Thursday, 19 November 2020


The OtherHalf isn't allowed to work. So he goes out on his bike every day. For hours. Then he spends another hour cleaning the sodding thing. Followed by an hour in the shower.

I can't decide whether to feel pissed off and resentful that I'm at home working. Or relieved that at least he's not in the house. Watching telly. Making a mess. Having a nap.

How long till lockdown 2.0 ends?

Tuesday, 17 November 2020

joyce and albert

 Joyce and Albert.

1930/31 - 2020

Together for 65.5 years.

Died 9 days apart.

Our favourite neighbours for 17 years.

I'm gonna miss them 💔

Friday, 13 November 2020

friday 13th

Friday the 13th.

Lucky for some.

Particularly the OtherHalf. He met me on Friday the 13th. 22 years ago today.

Lucky sod 😁

Thursday, 12 November 2020

sun down

 I'm failing miserably at my daily walk in lockdown 2.0.

The problem is that by the time I'm ready to go the sun has gone down. It gets bloody dark at 4pm these days.

Lockdown in spring was a better idea.

special delivery

I'm keeping myself entertained this lockdown by seeing how many online deliveries I can get in one day. I'm rather excellent at it.

Yesterday I received a light fitting, a tin of paint and a top from Zara. Today I'm expecting my Papergang subscription box, a curtain pole and a black dress that I will probably never wear. Because every day is a Sweaty Betty legging day round here now. (You can buy them online.)

I've already ordered a new iPhone case and a socket extension lead this morning. And I'm considering the new autumn Boden facemasks. In case I ever leave the house again.

Happy days.

Tuesday, 10 November 2020

can't see

I might have a trip to the opticians next week. Cos my glasses are really scratched and I can't see a bloody thing.

And opticians are still open.

So it would be daft not to.

Monday, 9 November 2020


 This weekend I:

Painted the wardrobes in our bedroom.

Went for a walk in the woods with the OtherHalf and the dog.

Made a Sunday roast.

That was it.

Lockdown innit.

Friday, 6 November 2020

national lockdown 2.0

 I've decided to take part in a new challenge. It's called National Lockdown 2.0. It's gonna be tough. I'm gonna have to work from home. And I can't go out partying every night. Or do all my Christmas shopping in November. But I'm determined to see it through.

I'll be posting the usual shit on here, on random days in a slackarse way - for continuity's sake. Hope you can all join me.

Thursday, 5 November 2020

cheeky break in Greece

So it was half term last week. My sis and I and our two youngest were meant to be going to Barnard Castle for the week. We'd booked a cottage and everything. But the latest rules meant that we weren't allowed to mix households in County Durham. So we had to cancel.

We were allowed to book separate hotel rooms in Greece though. So we did. And 5 days later we were on a flight to Rhodes. The two eldest muscled in on the act as well. They weren't interested in County Durham. They were interested in the Greek Islands.

Anyways. We had a bloody ace time. It was warm. And sunny. And beautiful. 

This is Antonio. The donkey who gave me a ride up a massive hill to see the Lindos Acropolis. Thinking about getting one at home instead of my car...

Tuesday, 3 November 2020

october 2020

 I'm back from an impromptu (and bloody fabulous) mini break in Greece.

Just in time to join in with National Lockdown 2.0.

This was October in pics...

Monday, 26 October 2020


We gained an extra hour this weekend. So that was nice. I spent mine in bed.

But now it's dark at 5pm.  And I bloody hate cold, dark winters.

So we're off to Greece. Me and my sis and the kids are having a cheeky break in Rhodes. We go on Wednesday. Only till Sunday. But better than Barnard Castle.

Can't. Bloody. Wait.

Saturday, 24 October 2020

Auntie Faffy

This is Cathy. We called her Auntie Faffy. She was ace at golf. And had the best smile. She was my very first friend in the world and lived two doors away when we were kids. I went to her funeral on Wednesday. Funerals in a pandemic are even sadder than before. Life is cruel sometimes. And short. Make the most of every day ❤️