Saturday, 4 April 2020

easter holidays start here

Lockdown Day 12

Officially the first day of the Easter Holidays. In old money. Just another day in the new currency.
I combined my daily exercise with an egg delivery mission to my Mum and Dad. 16,433 steps. Makes up for the 472 steps I did on Wednesday.

Friday, 3 April 2020


Lockdown Day 11

The OtherHalf: Garden.
The Youngest: Garden assistant.
The Eldest: Stayed up all night. Finished the frigging assignment. Uploaded it at 11.56. With 4 minutes to spare. Then went to bed. All day.
Me: Locked myself in my office, walked the dog, went to M&S.

Still...Friday is my favourite day...

Thursday, 2 April 2020

tree fella

Lockdown Day 10

The OtherHalf continued with his ExtremeGardening. He doesn't discriminate between weeds and legit foliage...if it's alive he chops it into a twig. The blossom tree was yesterday's victim. Today another 4 trees were butchered. 

The Youngest was in charge of dragging dead branches off to await the shredder. (Tomorrow's job apparently.)

The Eldest is STILL writing the goddamn assignment. She was still at it at 4am. She then spent most of today in bed. The deadline is 12 noon tomorrow. TFFT. I'm not sure I could cope any longer. 

Wednesday, 1 April 2020


Lockdown Day 9

Wednesday night is girls night. So we got with the programme and leapt into 2020. Did girls night with Zoom. It's the future.

Meanwhile this was March in a pattern. Maddest month ever!

Tuesday, 31 March 2020

soup and sardines

Lockdown Day 8

The OtherHalf brought the sodding bike inside the house to fix. Both garden and garage were deemed "too cold" for him to function properly. 😡
He made the Youngest jetwash the decking.
The Eldest listened to an audio book of Plato.
I escaped to Tesco after realising all the decent food has been consumed and nobody is interested in soup or sardines. It felt like a mini break and was lovely to be able to do something "normal".
Then I cut the Eldest's hair.
I'm Nikki Clarke now.

Monday, 30 March 2020

happy days

Lockdown Day 7

There's nothing quite so fabulous as staying up till 1am on a Sunday to watch Rain Man, knowing that you don't have to set the alarm for stupid o'clock and stick to a rigid Monday timetable.

Also thanking my lucky stars that all this has occurred at a time when I don't have small people to entertain. God knows I've done my fair share of trying to work with kids running wild over the years. Bloody glad we didn't put child creation off a few more years.

Anyway... Today...

  • The OtherHalf has made the Youngest cut the grass. Again. Cos it hasn't been cut since like Wednesday. Meanwhile he's been putting a new dropper post on his sodding bike.
  • The Eldest is still writing WarAndBloodyPeace. But she actually got out of bed before midday today!!!
  • And I have been locked in my studio doing VeryImportantWork. As usual.

Sunday, 29 March 2020

fashion in isolation

Lockdown Day 6

Today marks seven whole days since the Eldest last stepped foot out of the house. Not because she's a model citizen taking the whole thing incredibly seriously. But mostly because it's actually getting dark by the time she gets out of bed now. She was "fuming" last night because she'd planned to go to bed at 1.30am but then the clocks suddenly went forward an hour and it was already 2am.

In other news I tackled the ironing pile. Approximately 5 weeks worth. So now we have all these 'new' clothes to wear.
Pointless as it turns out cos I'm just wearing the same hoodie every day with my yoga pants. That way I'm ready for my afternoon online yoga sesh. If I decide to do one. Which hasn't happened yet. But it's early days...

Saturday, 28 March 2020

weekend vibes

Lockdown Day 4 

  • I locked myself in my office most of the day. I was actually working. Honestly. Apart from the addition of 3 extra bodies in the house my day to day life is pretty much the same as before so far.
  • The OtherHalf trimmed a bush then took the piss out of Boris by going on a 3 hour bike ride. Insisted that it was essential exercise.
  • The Eldest stayed in bed most of the day due to the late night she had, stringing out the assignment. She's now on the same time zone as New Zealand so we don't see her much.
  • The Youngest was doing something with a table knife in the front garden. He reckoned he was "gardening". I didn't question him further. I couldn't be arsed.
  • I went up to M&S to stock up on essential fresh food. Four people eat a lot when they're at home all day. I waited till 6pm because my sister attempted it in the morning and the queue went out of the car park, across the road and all the way to DFS. This is far. Spent 75 quid on a bit of fruit and veg and enough snacks to last half an hour.
  • The OtherHalf usually goes to the pub on a Friday night. I suggested that we should get dressed up, turn the telly off and drink, standing up, out of pint glasses. To recreate the pub atmosphere. He ignored me.

Lockdown Day 5

It's the weekend.
The OtherHalf continued to flaunt the rules and went on another 3 hour bike ride. Then he went back to bed. This is what he does every Saturday.

I cleaned the whole of downstairs then packed in cos I'm feeling most resentful about my domestic servant status.

The Youngest has only just surfaced. He said, "What is there to eat?"

The Eldest is still in bed. It's the middle of the night in New Zealand.

Thursday, 26 March 2020

chasing rainbows

Lockdown Day 3

The dog has never had it so good. We're all fighting to take her for a walk.
On my walk today I saw lots of rainbows in windows and a bloke sat on his doorstep, wearing only a pair of shorts, sunbathing with a can of Fosters. Like he was in Lanzarote.
So that was nice.

Wednesday, 25 March 2020


Lockdown Day 2

The OtherHalf's gardening activities have continued.
By this I mean that he has spent most of the day in the garden pissing about with his bike whilst making the youngest cut the grass.

The Eldest stayed in bed literally all day and only surfaced at 4pm.

Meanwhile my neighbour texted to see if we have an electric pump she could borrow. I dragged myself out of the studio and into the garden to ask. 
This was the conversation:
Me: Neil, do we have an electric pump?
Neil: An electric pump?
Me: Yes, Cassie needs one. Have we got one?
Neil: [Looking confused] An electric pump??
Me: Yes. An electric pump.
Neil: [Still looking confused] An electric pump???
Me: [Getting intensely irritated] YES!!!
Neil: [Still confused and acting like I am speaking Spanish] An e-l-e-c-t-r-i-c-p-u-m-p? What's it for?
Me: [Ready to punch him] I have no idea! Whatever it's for, do we have a pump that is electric??????
Neil: No.

I'm not sure how we will survive this pandemic.

Tuesday, 24 March 2020


Lockdown Day 1

How long is appropriate for a solo walk?
Asking for a friend....'s actually all ok so far! The Eldest has a uni assignment deadline, the Youngest never leaves his room and the OtherHalf is getting our shit tip of a garden ready for the Chelsea Flower Show. 

And I'm beavering away to get a big project finished...although I'm not actually sure there'll be anyone there to receive it 😬

Monday, 23 March 2020


Today I will be following government advice and working from home.
As usual.
But with the addition of two teenagers. Who are still in bed. And no doubt will be for several more hours. I just don't really have the energy to get them up. I can't face the prospect of nagging them for the next 6 months 😩
I suppose it's easier than having two 5 year olds at home though.
Stay strong people!

Sunday, 22 March 2020

mother's day

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mums. Especially mine. Cos she's the best. 
Also I've done that thing again where I post on Insta but forget to post on here... if anyone even reads this and is interested in CoronaTalk you know where to find it...

Thursday, 19 March 2020

shell shocked

The youngest leaves school tomorrow. Like Forever. 
It's his last day ever!
He's a bit shell shocked.
Last week at this time he had a full on revision timetable. And loads of homework. And a stressy exam countdown. And 3 months left of school.
It all went tits up last night when Boris announced that schools would be closing and exams were scrapped. 
I mean he's over the moon about the exam thing. The rest of it - not so much.
I think there will be many tears tomorrow!
In other news, with my usual taxi service time freed up, this week I cleared out a cupboard in the kitchen. I found loads of tinned food we can now use for extreme survival and chucked out loads of herbs and spices...all "best before 2008"

Monday, 16 March 2020